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I feel lost and I cannot determine my way anymore. First time for me to fight but I am unable to win. You have no idea what is going on and you keep fighting and trying but at the end, you find it useless to fight! 

You fall and fall into the endless black hole where everything is dark and you cannot see anything. You scream for help but there is nothing...even an echo is too much to ask. You are alone in the darkness with your enemy.

This fight might be my last because my enemy is stronger...I know my weaknesses and so does my enemy. So, she keeps hurting me endlessly and she gains strength while I fall! Nowhere to hide, it is just me and her! 

She keeps saying there is no hope and I have to leave. I do not want to let her in control because I know how evil she is. But, the more I get hurt from her and people around, the weaker I get and the stronger she gets. 

Is it ok to give up and let her punishes everyone who hurts me?! Is it ok to forget about the light and stay in darkness? Is it …
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The Clown is no longer Happy

"It is show time," said the circus manager in a very loud voice so that all of the performers will hear him. "Where is the clown?" again he shouted. A fragile colorful figure approached the circus manager and said: "I am here." "Cheer up, asshole!" Said the manager angrily when he heard the sad voice of the clown. The clown smiled from ear to ear and answered "Sure, Sir!"

He entered the vast area where hundreds of people were waiting for him to show up. The started to clap and cheer once they saw him. Lights were spotting him moving a funny way throwing colorful balloons that spread all over the audience. He started to run all over the place and jump in a funny way. Kids started to laugh and clap as the apparently cheerful clown made his funny moves. He kept acting happily for an hour and his audience were deceived by his appearance but nobody really cared for the sad clown, he knew that. 

His performance came to an end and he went to hi…


I don't hear it, but I know it is talking to me, telling me about my falls and stands, dreams and nightmares, hopes and reality, and about people in my life and those who passed away. I am trying to ignore it; but deep down inside me, I know there is a part of me listing to it. Yet, sadness is an overwhelming burden that I am unwilling to take. It comes and brings all the unspoken words, the tears hidden by a fake smile, the pain in a seemingly happy heart, and the memories of the beloved ones who left us, whether on by or against their wills.
Hell, silence! What do you want me to do? It's over, it's okay for me like that... I don't want your noises to disturb my peace... or what seems to be like peace. I just realized that weeping is not the best way to overcome life. I have to stand, to fall, then STAND, then fall harder and harder, and then to STAND AGAIN! No matter what, I have to continue my journey, whether I like it or not, whether it is happy or not, and whether…

Unfound Soul

One of the most difficult times for the writers is the time when they lose their inspiration. They lose creativity, search for their muses, write many unpublished drafts, and cry in silence.

In such times, writers may try to seek an inspiring spot where they can find their lost skill. Other writers, may evoke their pain to find inspiration. Few writers may quit writing!

Quitting writing is a desperate resolution for the writers who lost their inspiration. They know that they want to avoid pain found in their writings, they seek peace, and they want to stop thinking.

Yet, it is not an easy decision to quit writing, because writers know that a part of their existence is reflected in each word they write, in each moment of pain they share with their readers, in each time they realize the meaning of life through writing, and in each moment they shed a tear!

My dear readers, it is not an easy decision to stop writing again, I stopped before for 6 or 7 years. But, my soul is no longer here, my …


She was afraid to tell him the secret that she kept hidden for a long time. She was afraid that he may not understand her. She was afraid that she will lose him. Yet, his love was so secure that she never felt afraid when she was with him. He always supported her and cared for her. She believed him and trusted him. Yet, it took her time to reveal her secret.

She tried her best to be courageous enough to reveal her secret. It needed time and courage. The day she revealed her secret, he assured her it is ok. He still loved her and will always be with her.

Next day, he ignored her. She asked about him but he replied he wants to stay alone. She was shocked then she realized she was a fool again. She locked herself in her room, praying to God that she never trust anyone again! It is always trust that brings us pain!


A little girl was walking with her mummy when it suddenly rained. The mother looked around for a shelter while the girl ran happily and tried to hug the raindrops. The mother ordered the little girl to come under the shelter but the little girl disobeyed the order and she kept playing under the rain till her clothes were completely wet. 

Next day, the girl was sick in her bed and her mother was blaming her for disobedience. The little girl said to her mother: “Ok if rain causes cold and we are not supposed to enjoy it; then why did God create it in the first place?” The mother could not answer.

So, the little girl said: “ I’ll tell why, mummy, because God gives us choices, to enjoy raindrops and catch a cold or to find a shelter to avoid raindrops. My choice was to enjoy the rain, unlike you, and now I bear the results of my choice which I don’t regret. The problem mummy is that people forbidden the choices allowed by God. So, you may say that I disobeyed you but I did not disobey God. …


"I wish to tell you my secret!" She whispered in the ears of her lover who was sleeping peacefully near her. She surrounded his waist with her arm and gently put her head on his shoulder. He felt her move; he kissed her hair softly while he was sleepy still.

She sighed and closed her eyes. He held her closer and kissed her again. She looked into his eyes and smiled then moved up to kiss his lips. For a moment, they felt it like eternity, they felt peace and tranquility. Everything was in peace, it was heaven! Nothing to worry about except for...She wanted to tell him.

He held her so tight to his body; she felt every inch of it and he felt hers. Then, they kissed intimately. She lost her mind and he lost his. Then, they started their journey to the eternity. Again, it was heaven!

She rested her head again on his should and closed her eyes. Her tears dropped but she rubbed them quickly so that he could not notice or feel them. She wanted to tell him.

Again, he held her tight to fa…